Jennifer Davies of YWAM Vancouver Shared an Amazing Message with Us
Unglued by Dominik Jirovsky via Unsplash
Last Sunday I freaked out. I blew a gasket, came unglued, hit the ceiling, wigged out, I lost it.
The day started fine with my usual cup of tea. I had a good prayer time, brief, as I planned to watch church online, and then started to tidy up the house, getting ready to show a potential room-mate who was thinking of moving in.
I came back upstairs with just enough time to make my coffee for watching church and my dear husband, wanting to help out, had spread all over the dining table another pile of papers, coupons, pens, and random stuff that needed my attention.
This was a normal thing, but it totally triggered me, and I flipped out emotionally. I thought I had being doing so well during this lockdown. I had being having regular times with Jesus, getting fresh vision for future ministry, praising him and being thankful and a good attitude every day. I was using my extra time to clean out drawers and closets, (Our house is looking so good!) and yet here was another big pile of crap.
I Came Before the Lord
I came before the Lord. (Psalm 40:1 I waited for the Lord to help me and He turned to me and heard my cry) I asked Him why this had triggered me so much. Pride, came to mind right away. Here I had been patting myself on the back as I thought I had being doing so well, I had it all together. Yet, It took so little for me to unravel. I am lacking, I need Jesus.
I also realized I still was angry at all the loss, of the ministry, of income, being with people and staying at home so much (I am very extroverted and thrive with groups of people). My daughter not being able to leave for her DTS in March, needing to homeschool my other daughter to name a few.
I took time to cry and grieve and what did I sense from Jesus? He loved me, it’s ok, He comforted me, I just sat in His arms. Yes, we have enough food, and He has provided for us financially, so who am I to complain? But I sensed he said He saw me, my heart, my sadness to not do the things we were planning, the hopes we had for financial breakthrough, and that it was ok to just take a day to grieve, to be sad.
Time to Pivot…
Then I asked forgiveness for my pride. I laid it at the foot of the cross, I thanked God for his mercy and grace. I pivoted. I wiped my tears, and went for a walk, enjoyed spending time with my family.
Today I woke up with a freshness, a renewed heart and hope for the future. The pruning is not fun, but it feels so great afterwards! Today is a new day, that the Lord has made. Now, the key is to pivot, to not stay freaked out.
So, go back to your secret place with the Father. He loves you so much, He is waiting there, and wants to speak to you, share His heart with you. Ask him again for what you want for Mission Adventures. Ask Him what he wants to share with you. He may want to give you new vision. Or maybe recieve His reassurance that you were on the right track... keep going, Stay true to that original call you received when you joined YWAM, why you started working with MA in the first place. Why you are passionate about youth and seeing them getting exciited about Jesus, and wanting to go into missions?
“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.”
Jeremiah 29:11, 13 NLT
So, if something triggers you, take it to the Father, ask him to show you why that was a big deal to you. Let him shake you, prune you, and surrender to God what is in your heart. Ask forgiveness and then pivot...
“This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Please, Lord, please save us. Please, Lord, please give us success.” Psalms 118:24-25 NLT
So, may the Lord bless you and keep you, make his face to shine upon you and give you peace.
I’m not done yet, still clearing out the closets of my heart, but opening those doors with Jesus by my side.
Love, Jennifer
Find me on Facebook: Jennifer Atwood Davies. I’d love to pray for you!